Chris Markiewicz's Blog
Every Monday – thoughts, observations and ideas that hold up a mirror to who & how we are

Eighteen


I now, officially have a grown up child. My daughter, Clara turned eighteen on Friday, so we now have two generations of adults living under our roof.

Whilst, given my age, it will have been biologically possible to have had an adult child over two decades ago, it still feels like some kind of coming of age for me. Eighteen is, on the one hand, an arbitrary milestone (it used to be twenty one of course) yet it marks a realisation that babies do grow up – most say, far too quickly – and life starts to move into another phase.

Clara has a brother, Adam, who will reach that same milestone in June of next year. Will our responsibilities as parents cease? I guess so in law but equally guess that, in our hearts they will still be our children who will still need guidance, support and, of course sackfuls of love.

As and when they move on, assuming they do, there will be much adapting to do. At times I start to imagine the house without them around. It’s a mixed feeling…..

On the one hand, there will be the freedom and independence of no longer needing to see to their needs. Also, there will be more space, or at least that’s the theory!

On the other hand, there will be less company. Two decades or so of rearing youngsters will be behind us, and I imagine that takes some adjusting to. Part of me dreads the quiet and, even as I write this, a small lump forms in my throat as I imagine them elsewhere building their own lives almost entirely independent of their mum and dad.

I equally dread the small possibility of their living here at home in twenty years’ time! It is possible, given the situation with property and employment in the UK. I doubt it will be the case but illustrates that, whatever transpires, we parents can’t have it all ways!

I am quietly confident that we have done a good job in bringing up our two youngsters and that they will shine as they grow further and make their way out into the world. Could we have done better? Probably. Could we have done worse? Definitely.

And, as they do get on with their lives, I can enjoy yet another advantage of having grown up children: that is spending more time with, and better getting to know my partner, Ingrid. I’m really looking forward to that. Who knows, we may even decide to get married! Now, that feels very grown up to me.

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One Response to “Eighteen”

  1. The financial implications of not being married are frightening!! Especially if you have a house that has quietly ticked up in value.


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