Chris Markiewicz's Blog
Every Monday – thoughts, observations and ideas that hold up a mirror to who & how we are

A perverse arrogance

Do you like you?

You may be thinking, what an odd way to open a blog post. It sounds like nonsense – on one level.

Yet, if we step back and seriously ask that question about our relationship with ourselves, it can be quite an eye opener. “Do I like me?”.

There is a belief that is held by many that, if we think highly of ourselves then we are being big headed or arrogant. I suggest this is a myth. In fact, there is a strange paradox at work here: The more badly we think of ourselves the more desperate we may become for others to like us, to build us up. Yet, expecting others to like us on this basis is, in fact a kind of perverse arrogance.

Why on earth should someone else take it upon themselves to think highly of you if you are in a crappy relationship with you?

The first step has to be self love. By this, I don’t mean puffing ourselves up to look good in others’ eyes, more a genuine high self regard.

When we dislike another person, we can often choose to break that relationship,  however we can’t ever walk away from ourselves, so it makes sense to work on it! Is this easy? For many, not at all and sometimes it needs professional support.  However, staying stuck in self hate isn’t exactly great either!

This is nothing new. George Benson summed it up nicely in his 1977 hit: “The Greatest Love of All”:

“Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all”

So where do we start? Listening to the song can be a nice first step – here is a link.

Moving on from that, It may be as simple as deciding to like yourself  – or, initially part of yourself  –  that little bit more today, and then tomorrow, and then the next day……

And, over time,  you can see what starts to happen. I think I’ll give it a go.




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