Chris Markiewicz's Blog
Every Monday – thoughts, observations and ideas that hold up a mirror to who & how we are


This Sunday morning as I write this, I’m actually in a bad mood, pissed off or however else you may wish to put it.

Part of the reason actually stems from feedback that I get to these blogs. Now, you may think that I must be referring to negative feedback. Actually I’m not.

I have had quite a number of people say how much they look forward to reading these weekly posts, people telling me that they find them uplifting, inspiring even, and that they help kick off their week for them. On one level, that feels really, really good and I sincerely hope that people continue to benefit from my thoughts, ideas and reflections.

The reason I’m pissed off is that I take so little heed much of the time of what I write. I spout the theory, yet much of the time I don’t apply it. In a nutshell, I feel a bit of a fraud. Will this stop me writing these pieces? Nope – mainly because despite these misgivings I enjoy doing it and others enjoy reading them.

The same applies to much of what I share on my training programmes. Will I stop running them? Nope, for the same reason – they’re bloody good courses.

What I do want to say though, is that it can be easy for the blog reader or course participant to look upon your’s truly as someone who has it sussed, who knows what it’s all about and lives the perfect life, applying all of my “teachings”. I remember an associate of mine being astonished once when I told her I’d had a row with my partner that morning. She was shocked but at the same time relieved: “Because you run such great courses on Conflict Resolution etc., I imagined that you must have it all sorted on the home front, unlike the rest of us!”  Nah – just ask my family!

Some years back I signed up for an eight day mediation course and ended up having a stand up row with the facilitator on the morning of day seven. I left the course. Ironic or what?  Although, I did still gain my certificate in mediation skills.

I have a sneaking suspicion that what I’m expounding can apply to most, if not all of us. We may be considered “experts” in this or “authorities” on that, but I suspect we all may feel like frauds at times. The “tailor’s children dressed in rags” phenomenon or Chiron, the wounded healer.

Having said all this, there is much of what I share that I do work hard to apply – often successfully.

I think I need to remind myself of the following quote by the writer Richard Bach: “You teach best that which you most need to learn” or the words of Graham Browne, a teacher of mine who’d say when course participants shared such frailties or perceived hypocrisies: “Welcome to the human race”.

So, feeling a tad better for having got this off my chest, I shall now close and will be back next week with something more upbeat – promise!       


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3 Responses to “Fraud?”

  1. I thought Gurdjieff said – We teach best etc

    • Thanks for your note Pete – you may well be right. I remember reading the quote in one of Bach’s books. I Googled “Richard Bach quotes” just to double check and there it was! Perhaps he nicked it! Either way, it resonates with me

  2. Physician heal thy self!

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