Chris Markiewicz's Blog
Every Monday – thoughts, observations and ideas that hold up a mirror to who & how we are

Pulled up short

Last Thursday I went to a workshop at the British Film Institute with my thirteen year old son, Adam. There were about fifteen youngsters there ranging in age from about to ten to seventeen or so.

 It was clear that a handful of the participants were not just enthusiastic about the topic but also incredibly knowledgeable. One lad in particular was engaging with the facilitator at almost every turn – offering information, giving examples, asking searching questions, name dropping and so on. At first I was impressed, but before long this lad started to irritate me. He did so to the extent that, eventually I was sitting there seething and willing him to just shut the **** up!

 Come the break, Adam and I were heading for the coffee bar to grab some refreshment. As we walked,  I let rip (quietly, under my breath) about my irritation. The interaction went thus:

 Chris: “Jeez, Adam, that lad doesn’t half go on, he just wouldn’t shut up. On and on, asking questions, making comments, pointing out how much he knew……”

 Adam: “And?”

 I was completely stopped in my tracks.

 My son was right. I’d allowed this enthusiastic young person’s behaviour to wind me up. I’d assumed Adam would have had the same reaction, but it didn’t bother him one iota. He was enjoying the session and saw no problem with his co-participant’s interjections.

 What was fascinating was that Adam’s one word response to my chuntering,  had me realise that the the young lad wasn’t doing anything “to me”. I’d allowed myself to become a victim of his behaviour. He was just passionate and engaged. The shift in my perspective off the back of Adam’s response allowed me to let go. The youngster continued in the same vein all through the second half of the event but it no longer bothered me at all.

 It’s funny how I can spout the theory about how nobody makes us feel anything. I have written about it on this blog, I teach it on courses and yet I can so easily forget and therefore sorely need reminding.

 Nice one Adam.           


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2 Responses to “Pulled up short”

  1. Nice one Adam, you should meet my 16 year old Poppy, you hold the same views!

  2. I’s stick with your original response. Children of today! What happens to Children should be seen and not heard  🙂 :

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